Needing the basics

I'm not sure what sent me into hiding these last two weeks. Maybe it was "Eight Bells" death...Her loss affected me deeply. But, it could have started, I believe is started, when a friend wrote to me, and in a tirade that left me breathless, accused me of not being a good person.
That's really what it boiled down to, and I was just stunned.
Most of the people who love and respect me, recognize my goodness, and look past my harsher aspects. She apparently could not, and I won't pretend I'm not hurt.


I was trying to move past "all of that pain" when a cyclone hit one of the worlds poorest nations Myanmar (Burma). A nation without a recognized identity, except for the one Senior Gen. Than Shwe, the countries ruthless leader, has created for it- while his ruling Junta Party, brutally abuses the people into a numbed acceptance.

No sooner had I regained some emotional balance- tornadoes began ripping middle America to shreds. An America, that is being bled anemic by the highest profiting oil companies in American history.
Companies, that have close ties to our current President's personal financial security.

Although we are not innocent over here, our economy is coming to a grinding halt. And, even though the evening new spins the propaganda wheel, and tells us that isn't so, I would like a real number of employees who couldn't afford the gas to get to work this week. Or,the true number of Americans who couldn't purchase food, because they needed gas to get to work.
And, our current administration doesn't care, at all.
They tell you this is a mild recession. They tell you to quit your bitch- in....

Well, not to put to fine a point on the worlds mood, two volcanoes are exploding. Kilauea in Hawaii, and the Chaiten, volcano in Chile.

A volcano last erupted around 7,420 B.C., long considered extinct.

Two exploding volcanoes is just a quirk of fate, I thought- uncomfortably.

But, then it happened, a devastating magnitude 8.0 earthquake in China's southeastern Sichuan province. For a second, I felt my heart stop at the news. I felt it just skip one, two beats...
I gave a strong cough and it came back strong, but the ache in my chest just overwhelmed me.

So much sadness, so much pain. The whole world has been beaten into submission and the weight of it all pushed me down. The pain curled me into a heap on my bed, sobbing.

That is what the last two weeks have been like.
Me, filing for bankruptcy and divorce simultaneously, desperately trying to keep my apt. Even more desperate to keep my car.
I honestly know broken.

I know how the wind bends the tree to its uprooting.

I know it like I know breathing. It is the most painful lesson.
I know loss, and the horrible cosmic joke of a forced -do over.
I wrote this tonight to remind everyone, please, love the people in your life.
Love them to life, not to death.
Say goodbye and I love you, every morning, with kisses and hugs.
Say goodnight and I love you, every night, before retiring to bed.
Do it with tenderness.

Kiss your children, mates, lovers, friends, partners.
Offer hugs, and milk, and bread, and shelter.
Offer the sharing of rides to work.
Care, GOD DAMN-IT.
Because that tornado, that volcano, that cyclone/hurricane, that earthquake, that heartless government, our heartless government, is creating the need for all of us, to hold on to each other, and care.

Care about your fellow human beings.
Decide that their life is worth your caring and concern.

That's all I wanted you to know, tonight.

-Renee