Connecting with others- staying present.

Once, not long ago, I was running errands with my husband and daughter. I saw a man who was fairly well dressed, but sitting on the ground, crumpled into himself, like the world-his world had been taken away from him.

The image was so moving that I didn't care if he had done something wrong, or if he deserved this fate. I only cared that he was damaged and shaken, violently, by an un-nameable something. I have seen that look in the mirror before, and only wanted to offer some solace.

I walked to the Dunkin Donuts which was footsteps away and bought him breakfast (it was still morning) A bagel, some cream cheese, a donut, orange juice, and a cup of black coffee--sugar and cream on the side.

I walked over to him and knelt down.

I wasn't afraid of being attacked, he seemed to numbed by something.

I asked him if he was "OK". He said "I've lost everything" I said "I don't know you, or what's happened to you, but I do know that you can think more clearly if you'll have something to eat". "Will you accept this breakfast from me"? He looked at me like I was making fun of him, so I asked him -"please let me help you, I offer no judgment, no matter how much you've lost -you belong to someone. They just want for you to be safe, I'm sure."

He took the breakfast gently and said "thank you". I put five dollars in his hand and told him that "lunch was taken care of too." He said "I don't know what to do..." I said "after breakfast, stand up- and keep standing."

He said "God Bless you"

I told him "that I hoped for God to bless him as well."

I walked away, and didn't look back.

I have wondered over this man, many times. Our brief connection sits with me in the most conscious way. I wonder is he OK-did he make it? I remember "me" during this time in my life; my worries were numerous, my thoughts were scattered, my days were long, and my mind was numb. I was a young mother of a precocious, brilliant child, and I was struggling to stand on my own two feet. I was in fact-learning how to stand.

I believe the reason I still remember this man is because he made me feel human, and needed, and awake. The memory of this stranger is in sharp contrast to the chemically induced fuzziness of my clinical depression.

I believe our connection-me reaching out for him, and he accepting my rescue-it saved us both that day.

Wherever you are today, pay attention. Get in, and stay connected to the present moment. picking through the past, or worrying over the future, robs you of "right now"

Take the time to notice your surroundings. Someone you have never met may be depending on you to notice them.

These are the things that cross my mind sometimes.

Today, for just a second "he" crossed my mind. I smiled, I shook, I stood, I stretched, then stood for a while longer... remarking on the changes in my own life. I am separated from my husband, I went back to school- finished in high style. My daughter is a lovely, occasionally precocious, brilliant, self- contained, young lady. I came out "honest" to friends and family about who I am. I broke the ice-the soul numbing experience of clinical depression, and have been in remission for more then 5 years -there are fantastic odds that I will be able to stay connected.

I know how to stand. I smiled again and threw this prayer out to the universe. "Wherever "he is" let him be standing in love, in joy, in peace.

And with that, I blessed him, letting him go.

There is a great deal of life, in this present moment that has my attention.

I want to give "today" it's due

-Renee